An Ostroduction to the Website Contents

Table of Contents:

The Ostrogoth Book--Here you learn about the book that gave birth to the Ostrogoth experience.  This page also tells you how you can sign up for an e-mail notification of when the book will be released.

Contents--HELLO!!! This is the page that you're looking at right now asshole!  Go ahead and click the link if you don't believe me.

Prison Chick Central--This page keeps track of all your favorite prison chicks!  You can take a peek at their exclusive rap sheets and count the days until they're up for parole!  Also, you can e-mail the prison chick that hardens and/or moistens your crotch the most. Your note will be posted here right along with their warden-screened responses!

Plastique Ltd.--For the first time ever you are allowed exclusive access into the erotic empire built by Ace Plastique himself!  This page has profiles of all Ace's top talent and full listings of Plastique Ltd.'s creative works!

Zoltar's Realm--On this page we archive all of Zoltar's predictions and update you on the status of these psychic gifts to mankind.  New predictions are posted as soon as Zoltar offers them up.  Also on this page, you can e-mail the mystic Zoltar to seek out advice about your life! Your note will be posted on this page right along side his mystic display of insight to your problems!

Sarge's War Updates--Here the Sarge takes a minute from his time behind the drum set to update the world (and the galaxy) on all the wars that are currently underway here on planet Earth.  Complete with commentary, this page will touch the intangible heart as well as sober the drunken mind of the coldest war monger in the vicinity!  Through Sarge's War Updates you'll learn everything you need to know about the deaths of young soldiers across the globe!

Planet Olama--Olama may be known as Planet Earth's favorite guitarist, but on Planet Ostrogoth Olama is considered their favorite son.  His contact and communication with the Planet Ostrogoth elders is and always will be unsurpassed.  Here Olama keeps all us Earthlings up to speed with the happenings on Ostrogoth's home planet!

Hepatitis!--Ever since they started recording their public service album "Hepatitis", Ostrogoth has had a special place in their jocks for this disease.  On this page you can learn interesting facts about the affliction and take specialized tests to see if you might have Hep!  This page also has links to other Hepatitis websites so you can further enhance your awareness.

Ostrogoth History--An introduction to the history of the roots of this historic band!  Its the page that Zoltar predicts you'll go to after you're done reading this page.

Timeline--An extensive rundown of important dates in the history of the band.  Just a heads up before you visit this page...there's a lot of shit that we left off of this list and we don't update it that often.  When it comes to Ostrogoth important things happen every day and its difficult to keep up with it all.  If you think Ostrogoth slacks off when it comes to this page you can politely...back off, jerk off!!!!!!!!

Discography--Here is a list of all Ostrogoth related albums--complete with album covers and original release dates.  This page will be updated every time a new OSG offering is made to the public.

Fallen OSG Soldiers--This page is dedicated to all our brave Ostrogoth brothers and sisters who are no longer with us.  Ostrogoth honors their memories here with some beautiful obituaries of their lives that tell their harrowing tales of the great they've done for all Ostrogothian and Human kind!  Who knows, with a little luck, you may some day be featured on this page!

Search --Here you can search the site for a bunch of shit that you're too lazy to find on your own.

Contact Us--So you haven't had your crotch kicked in enough by the rest of the website?  This page lists all the contact e-mails for all of your basic Ostrogothic needs.  You can shout out to your favorite prison chick, get advice from Zoltar, or sign up for the "Planet Ostrogoth" e-mail newsletter.  Remember if you try to touch Ostrogoth, Ostrogoth will touch you.

There you have it, you cute little button-nosed dimpled-fuck whose about to embark on a the greatest journey of his/ her life.....happy clicking!