PLANET OLAMA

TODAY ON PLANET OSTROGOTH....POLITICS:  The Elders will meet to vote on new housing laws....WEATHER:  The temperature will be a high of 87 and low of 75....NEWS:  A parade will be held on the East Side of the planet to celebrate prime tanning hours....SPORTS:  Foos Ball--Northern Acrobats 7 West Side Slumbers 4, Middletown Rangers 4 East Coast Hatters 0, Southern Wildrats 1 Outskirt Walleyes 1, East Side Shenks 5  South Side Frankfurters 4...TRAVEL:  Middletown Turnpike 45 minutes, Southtown Interstate 20 minutes, A 4 car pile up will be causing delays on the Westside tollway--officials advise you to take route 72 to avoid congestion....stay tuned here for up to the minute news from PLANET OSTROGOTH!

Hello and welcome to Planet Olama!  Olama may be known as Planet Earth's favorite guitarist, but on Planet Ostrogoth Olama is considered their favorite son.  His contact and communication with the Planet Ostrogoth elders is and always will be unsurpassed.  Here Olama keeps all us Earthlings up to speed with the happenings on Ostrogoth's home planet!  Here is Olama's vow to all Ostronauts:

"Hey everybody, there's a ton of things over the years that I've learned about planet earth based on what happens on planet Ostrogoth.  I've learned so much that if there was President for Earth, I'd be his advisor!  Let me bring up some important points for that ass:

                 ~Did you know that the USA is the third largest producer of oil? 

                 ~Did you know that supply and demand has no bearing on the price of gas?

                 ~Did you also know that the nations that are members of OPEC (the real

                   bitches that control oil prices), all hate the USA? What the fuck!

That shit's true.  If you want to leave this place called Earth and expand your mind, come right here to this page and check out my Planet Olama updates weekly, monthly, or yearly.  I promise to find out why there is  mold in your cool whip and why sometimes, no matter how many times you shake it, you still dribble in your pants.  These are Olamagnetic updates that you are going to need in your lives!"